Yesterday we celebrated Ashley's very limited time of singleness at the lake. All the bridesmaids were there and together for the first time since finding out about the wedding! It was a fabulous day filled with boat riding, tubing, cornhole, laying out, and of course eating. It honestly probably makes my top ten days of my life thus far (at least of the past five years). However, when thinking about it once I got home last night I was overwhelmed with sadness.
Sadness because I know days like that are limited. Now three out of the six are engaged. About to start a whole different adventure, and I am SO excited for all three of them but it kind of makes me feel left behind. This is an adventure that we can't go on together. I know this is very selfish of me, and I know when/if I find my "somebody" then I will feel the same way and be ready for the adventure that they are on right now, but for right now i'm sad. Sad because our future is unclear. Our friendships are about to change quite drastically and I don't know how much or how little but I know it is about to change.
Another wave of sadness that hit me was that yesterday was what we used to be. Friends that could just laugh and have no concerns or reservations, no awkwardness. I missed that, and for the most part it was there yesterday. I so greatly wanted the day to never end to never have to go back to our current homes whether it be at school, in raleigh, or at our lifelong homes. But I had to remember that really we won't ever be able to go back. We've all changed since then, we've all went to college, we've all said stuff that we regret, we've all formed different relationships, we've all grown up into young adults.
This thought brought me to realize that it's pretty amazing that we've actually been able maintain pretty fair relationships this long. I mean out of 6 people we went to 5 different colleges. That's 5 different cities scattered all over NC. To be honest, the only time we ever really see each other is during school breaks or the summer. We will occasionally go visit at school but with so many different schedules this can be difficult. So that made me happy, happy that we've held onto each other for this long. I love my friends, especially those 5 and always will...all of them. No matter how angry or irritated with get with each other or harsh words we may say to each other they will always have a special place in my heart...
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