I feel like moving to the rhythim of Your grace...

So this weekend was one of much excitement for me!!! A. I got to see Katy, one of my apartment mates for next year whom I haven't seen since Rockbridge! B. Ashley's wedding shower C. I have a very exciting/long week to deal with this week.

As I was driving from the mall to the bridal shower it hit me, my two lives (home and school) are about to collide into each other head first. When I thought about this, it terrified me. I'm not sure why, but it did. Maybe it's because i've always kept them separate, school and home. But now, i'm living in an apartment--this is where my home friends will come visit me. So I guess what scared me more is the realization that this is it. I'm done growing up (for a matter of words, is anyone ever really done growing up?).

Then when I got out of my car and walked into Ashley's bridal shower (with Jenny thank goodness) it hit me...ASHLEY MILLS IS GETTING MARRIED! She is just a mere year older than me. I think i've always thought marriage is at least five or six years away, but that may simply not be the case, especially since all of my friends are choosing to get married at such a young age, not that I have or want to do what all my friends are doing but it really made me think that what if I meet the guy would I really drag it out that long? ABSOLUTELY NOT! When did we grow up from being 8 and playing dress up and pretending we were getting married and each others bridesmaids and playing "mom".Now it's really happening.

There are also a few more surprises that I cannot yet blog about but I have so many exciting thoughts about! Those will come later in the week!!!

The other night at Bible Study we sang the song Your Love is Extravagant by the Casting Crowns. I had not heard it in a really long time, but the lyrics are simply beautiful! My favorite line has to be:

"I feel like moving to the rhythm of Your grace, Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place."

The full song will be in a different post posted slightly after this one. Anyways, I just think these lyrics are so completely beautiful that they quite frankly took my breath away the first time I listened to them. I'm just so incredible thankful to have so many friends that are so strong in their faith and that push me daily to strive to be closer with our heavenly Father. Not many people are as lucky as I am.

Oh! The pictures at the top are from Ashley's shower!

My new friend

As many of you know this summer I am working at the Library at Wake two days a week. For right now in order to this I must depart from Lexington at 7 am in Melody who has no radio and I am driving half asleep in silence. At first I dreaded these mornings, I would worry that I am too tired to make it, scared that it's not safe. However, I shortly learned that this time to myself is precious. I can think, pray, sing, talk to myself etc whatever I want to do during the 40 minute drive to Winston. However my favorite part comes just minutes before I get to school. Once I finally get off the interstate, I have to go through a few stoplights. At one stoplight there's a man selling newspapers there. I used to not look at him (at least when he was looking) in fear that he would try to sell me a newspaper. However, I decided to start waving to him. I mean the guy's job is to stand in the middle of a street in Winston Salem...pretty dangerous, and i'm sure he gets a lot of dirty looks so why not be nice? Anyways, I know nothing about this man except that he sells newspapers and that he likes the Celtics (he wears his green jersey everyday they have a game)! Despite the fact that I don't even know his name, I feel like he and I are friends. This morning he actually smiled and pointed at me (I guess because it had been awhile since I drove by). I think this is really neat. This got me to thinking...we know nothing about each other yet his smile and wave encourages me and I would like to think mine does the same for him...this whole situation reminds me of a Danny Gokey song..Here's a link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMjIKtGsuTc

It's really a great song and makes you think. I challenge all of you to listen to it, I mean REALLY listen to it and think about the meaning. SO many people are hurting in this world today and if we could just show them even a tiny bit of love this could help them.

When you wish upon a star...

Have you ever taken the time to just sit outside at night on a blanket and enjoy this world that our heavenly father has created. The thousands of stars in the sky can overwhelm when I think of how far away they are and yet the same God that created them also created me. I sometimes find this unfathomable...I mean come on...who am I but a twenty year old girl?

Have you ever thought about friendship I mean really thought about friendship? Obviously when you meet someone you think to yourself, is this person worth getting to know, could we be friends for awhile or just an acquaintnace? Then you form that relationship with that person. Strings are formed, you become attached and mentall, physically, and emotionally need this person in your life. Clearly I'm talking about a very close, best friend maybe. But today I thought to myself why do we do this to ourselves? If something goes bad, the strings are cut, the connection is gone. Then you are left with a hole in you that can never truly be filled by anyone but the reconnection of the friend.

The other day I was reading in Romans and Romans 8:25 really stuck out to me. "But if we hope for what we do not have we wait for it patiently." I can so often be impatient. But honestly the things that mean the most to me are the things that I have had to work hard for, shed tears for, earn, wait patiently for. So this verse brings me back to the mindset that i'm not going to get what I want and what I think I need immediately or even in a few weeks or months. Success in life, relationships, friendships, family is something that God gives to us, but in order for them to blossom we must work at them, pray for them, wait patiently for them.

I have a destiny that is yet awaiting me...

So today while sitting at work I decided to look at some blogs from people at our church that I have not really kept up with since beginning college. While doing this I was awe struck with emotion at how much these people have grown and much I desire to have a relationship with them again. I have seen them more recently but to read about their lives brought tears to my eyes. This got me thinking...

In ten years who am I still going to be in communication with that I communicate with today. When I think about the people I talk to on a daily/weekly basis they all have such importance and meaning in my life that I can't imagine not knowing whats going on with them anymore. Then I began to think about the people who I spoke with everyday in highschool and thought that I could not go on without them once I graduated and guess what...i'm still going. So I guess I should enjoy and embrace the time I have with the ones I love while we're still close and available to each other. My friends have many different life plans in their future: med school, missions, teaching, marriage, kids, vet, librarian etc. but I hope and pray that they are something that continue to be a part of my life. I love them all for their personalities, differences, goals etc. and I am so thankful that God has allowed me to be a part of their lives.

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

This past week I have learned that God's irony is so amazing and funny!

I have honestly enjoyed every minute of everything i've done this week. It is starting to hit me that I am moving away from home (possibly for good---who knows what my future holds for me!) and that the easiness of being able to call up and friend just to watch a movie at 9 pm on a monday night will essentially be gone, at least for my friends from home. Saying this, I feel like I am truly blessed that I am upset about the fact that I will no longer be able to do this with my group of friends that I have been through so much with. We're all growing up and growing apart yet we still have a special bond that not many people get to experience in their lifetime, and for that I am truly thankful and know that it is something I will always cherish.

Also reconnecting with old friends is a lot more fun than I thought. Essentially when you don't see someone for four years (especially those four years being through the transition from high school to college and college to the real world) it is amazing to see how people have grown how people have changed and how people have stayed the same. I've always found myself to be extremely nervous around people who I haven't seen in awhile but it's comforting to know that obviously this is not the case for everyone in my life. It reminds me of how last August when I got back to school Katy Natalie and I just picked back up like Summer never happened. But this is not about them, it's about reconnecting with people from home that I could potentially not see for a good long time. It's strange to think you see them five out of seven days and yet once you left home for college you didnt see each other for four years.

I was reading last night and I stumbled across this verse 2 Thessalonias 3:3 "But the Lord is faithful, and will strengthen and protect you from the evil one." It was just comforting to me to be reminded that our God is faithful and although sometimes we may not see it, he is still being faithful to us. Just something to think about...

I will yet praise Him My Great Redeemer...

So, it's been a year since i've last blogged. I am not as hopeful as I was a year ago. I'm very happy on the outside...I think most people think i'm probably fun, but inside i'm still dealing with many questions.

How could my parents not tell me my aunt had flatlined and was probably not going to make it? I could have went and told her goodbye one last time.

How could my cousins 12 year old best friend die in a car accident?
She had such life in her, why do I get at least 8 more years than her?

So basically I have been struggling for the past month and a half with these questions. I don't know how to get over them, I pray but I can't hear God. Maybe I need to listen more intently.

Despite all this hurt, God truly spoke to me at Rockbridge, a Christian leadership camp for Intervaristy. In the midst of the business and the fun our c-team introduced our goals for next year: prayerful, transparent, and missional. As I listened to this three bullets (a tad bit upset might I add) I realized they are all connected, at least for me. There is no way I can be missional without being transparent. This is what I struggle with. I put up a big front so people cannot see me shed tears. But that's not healthy. I need to work on this. I should at least be able to do this with the community of people that I plan to grow in my relationship in Christ with. So I then realized I needed to be prayerful, not only me praying for myself but others praying for me. So if anyone reads this, I ask you: Please pray for me, pray that I can be more open to my brothers and sisters, pray that I can come to peace with the last month and half of my life, just pray.

Thank you.

"Saviour, he can move the mountains, my God is MIGHTY TO SAVE..."

Goodbye Wake Hello Summer

I finished up my first year of college about a week and a half ago. As exciting as that is, I miss living at Wake Forest so so so much. The last week there was full of studying, but Natalie, Katy, and I had a blast doing it. We camped out in Green which was like a freezor all week. I'm talking napped in the place, ate there, and anything else you can think of. For study breaks we would do the hoedown throwdown. It's a lot of fun...and you know it! So needless to say I miss them so much, and the convenience of being able to see your friends everyday. Don't get me wrong I love Summer, and i'm glad to get a break but come August, I will be so ready!!! I'll post some pictures of the end of the year from ADPi formal, ladies night and the student-athlete semi formal.